Mistakes You Only Make Once
/by Jonathan King
It’s always the littlest, simplest details that you can miss or overlook that can turn the most basic tasks into a nightmare. Details that you will clearly remember the next time you perform that task, and you won’t forget to do or not to do that little, simple thing. Of all the oil changes I’ve done, I’ve only really had one bad day. Way back in what was probably 2008 or ‘09, I went back to my parents’ house to change my oil in my M3. My dad had the tools and a driveway while I lived in an apartment complex. No big deal, it’s an oil change. How hard can it be?
My dad really is a “take charge” kind of guy. If you ask him to assist you, then he takes charge and will end up doing 80% of the work. I don’t LET him do this as that would be taking advantage of this man. No, he chooses this and my task to change my oil turns into him changing my oil and I help as needed. My dad wanted to start by draining the oil because that meant he was in control and wouldn’t let the oil pour out on his driveway. In parallel, I removed and replaced the oil filter. This is very easy to do on most BMWs, as the oil filter housing is right in front of or next to the top of the engine. On my car, you take out the thru bolt that secures the top of the housing, remove the top, and there’s your filter. Out comes the old and in goes the new. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Now the mistake that I made was that at the exact moment I put the lid back on the filter housing, my dad had the socket wrench I needed and was tightening the drain plug underneath the car. Within five seconds, I had forgotten that I needed to tighten the thru bolt. Maybe I saw a squirrel and was distracted.
The oil change had continued: remove the oil catch basin and lower the car from the jack stands. 6.5 liters of environmentally friendly golden nectar were poured into the engine. Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.
My mom was at the other end of the driveway gardening, which was slightly lower in elevation than where we were, and after 15-20 seconds she grabbed our attention. Not by screaming or shouting because what she was witnessing wasn’t her mess, and there was no way she was cleaning it. She spoke with the inflection point on every word after the first word, similar to when you ask a question with an obvious answer. And there was an obvious answer to her question: that answer was ‘no’.
“Should oil be pouring down onto the driveway like that?”
For the novice wrenchers reading, the rule of thumb, and the lesson learned that day, is if you ever start to thread a nut, bolt, screw or other fastener, you better tighten it at the same time. Never think to yourself that you’ll come back and get it later, because you won’t.
Now I’ve never made that mistake twice, and certainly don’t intend to make it in the future, but there are other mistakes to be made.
My buddy came over for an oil change last weekend in his M3. I just changed my oil successfully the week prior, and per my last article, I have the tools for the job. So he arrived with both golden nectars that were needed: oil and beer. Both are required for this job (only if you’re over 21 and not on the clock at work, my lawyer stipulates). We put the front of the car on jack stands, remove the oil cap, positioned the catch basin under the car, and my friend removed the drain plug from the engine block. As expected, the very hot oil spews from the opening, directly down into the catch basin.
“Dude, shouldn’t the oil be draining into the container?”
“Yes, did you open the plug on the bottom?”
“No.”
“Reach in and open it!”
“AHH, that oil is HOT!! I couldn’t get it!”
“Then put the drain plug back into the block!”
“It fell into the pan!”
All six liters of molten, concrete staining, undesirable tar continued to spew from the car and overflow from the top of the funneled catch basin. As proactive as we were with cardboard and even an absorbing blanket, the oil proved to be too much and overwhelmed our simple barrier. I found a plastic grocery bag and used it as a make-shift glove to reach into the catch basin to find the plug to allow what was at best two liters of oil to go into the basin. I had a whole bag of Costco white rags that we used to clean up as much of the oil from the concrete as we could. But the damage was done.
So far, I’ve covered the area with kitty litter which had absorbed most of the oil, however the outline of the stain looks like Australia, and it’s almost the size of it too. After a second application of the litter, the stain wasn’t getting any better. Tonight's activities will include a layer of Baking Soda, mixed Dawn dish soap and minimal water, then I’ll scrub the everlasting Crocodile Dundee out of it. My wife says my friend owes her two hours of babysitting our kids because I’m outside after dinner in what remaining daylight we have to remove this stain. If I can’t get this stain out, maybe I’ll just pour oil all over the rest of the concrete square so it’s all color matched. Seems easier, no? I’m not sure how many more ways there are to turn a simple oil change into a bad day, but the good news is I’m slowly finding them all.
There are better ways to stain your concrete
Top layer is removed with Kitty Litter
The best I can do
